Prayer is an appointment with the doctor of our souls, our Creator and Redeemer. He knows and guards our comings and goings (Psalm 120), our past, our wounds, our miseries and our desires to heal, live and walk in His presence. (Psalm 144)
When I am quiet in prayer, I silence my pain, my wounds, my "whys,” my frustrations and fix my gaze on the Divine Doctor. In this way, I allow Him to ask me about my pain, my scars, my past.
If I let him speak, He will surprise me as He knows me better than I do. He was and is present beside me. He has carried me, and will carry me, to spare me from suffering too much under the weight of these pains. Indeed, He experienced these pains first in his own flesh and by them, we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5)
I learn that He is not far away, never apart from me. I need Him to tell me about my past, as He did with the disciples at Emmaus. (Luke 24) I ask him to walk with me, to stay in my home and in my heart, to break His bread in my presence, to eat with Him the Eucharist so I can live and nourish myself from His pain and His Passion.
It was necessary for Jesus to come into my soul in prayer to heal my wounds with His hands punctured by the nails, with His penetrating gaze, sweet, soft and serene; with His voice firm and reassuring, with His luminous and patient presence.
“Tell me Lord about my past, the story of my life, of my wounds. Heal me, Lord, for You are my light and my salvation for no injury and no person can shake me. (Psalm 26)
Take my hurts, Lord, they are Yours, and let Yours be mine. Hide in mine, and I will hide in Yours. Look at my life, redeem and heal it; I look at your life, welcoming You with love and hope.
May my loneliness and pain be now healed by Your protection and love. Faithful friend who never fails, Doctor of my soul, Doctor of my hurts and pains.
I am scared of and embarrassed by my wounds. But your injuries were Your glory and the triumph You presented to Your Father. By my wounds I will be victorious if I present them to You to heal and to transform them to become a sign of love and victory. With this sign I will get to heaven, and You will present me confidently to Your Father, who is also my Father."
I suggest this “spiritual checkup” in your prayer with Christ…
1. Act of faith: "I believe Lord you are the Divine Doctor, Son of God, incarnate for love of me. You come to heal me with Your wounds."
2. Act of trust: "I trust in you Lord because Your promises are eternal and You desire my good. Teach me to know my good by opening my soul and my hurts to You."
3. Act of love: " I love you Lord because You have loved me first. I love You Lord because You have shown me Your love with Your wounds that remain open for me to hide inside."
4. Act of surrender: "I give You my life’s story, my past, my present and my future. With my story I give You the sad and the happy chapters; my hurts, confusions, pains, offenses, betrayals, infidelities, indifferences, sins, losses, abuses, resentments, everything. Those I've suffered with and those I've done that caused my brothers to suffer. With this I give You my daily crosses, my loves, my pains. In my future I give what I am and what I can become, my hopes, my dreams and my future sorrows."
5. Act of detachment: (Shed every garment, protection and mask. Undress the soul before God, present my wounds as they are, where they are. Nothing is hidden from God.) "That is how I am Lord, how I have suffered, these are my hurts. You know them. Here I present them to You with some trepidation but also confidence. This is my life, my story, my identity. I cannot change it, but I can let you heal me."
6. Act of humility: " Lord, enter into my wounds. It hurts me to open them to You. It humiliates me to go back to them, but I know that until they are Yours, they will not heal. Enter into them. Heal them."
While in prayer, ask yourself, “What are my hurts? Identify them, reviewing your life with Christ entering into your hearts.
Have I forgiven God? Have I forgiven myself? Do I still need to forgive someone?
Have I asked God for forgiveness?”
Make an appointment with God where he can heal you. Ask, “How is my prayer life? My closeness to the Eucharist? How often do I go to confession?”
Am I open through faith to the miracle that so many men and women experienced in the Gospel ? Do I know really what I want Jesus to do in my heart?
Thank you Lord for entering into my hurts, for always being there for me, for helping to cure my wounds, for healing them. I want this scar that is left to be a memory of Your love, a commitment of my decision to live trusting in You.
Hide me in that divine wound that will not heal, that wound that is always open where we can hide and understand how much You love us and want to heal us. I trust in You Lord, I will never be disappointed."